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Dennis Prager says that Valentine's Day meant nothing to him growing up but now he believes in setting aside a day to talk about romantic love. Last year he had one of his favorite calls. A man said that Valentine's Day meant nothing to him but his wife loved the day. I tell her, "Honey, it does not mean anything. The card makers invented it… It's just a capitalist thing." Prager told him that we do not do things for those we love on the basis of what we think is important, but on what they will like. Dennis quoted a statistic that 85% of Valentine's Day cards are bought by women. DP asked the guy if his birthday was important to him. Yes. Would he feel hurt if she ignored birthdays? Yes. Prager wanted to punch the guy for his lack of empathy. DP says we should do things for others that they like, so long as it is not immoral. Then there is the other argument, "I love her all the time. Why do I need a special day?" Why July Fourth? Why your birthday? DP says that we isolate certain days to make a point, whether we feel it or not. The AP reported that Valentine's Day is no big deal for students. Prager says that even though he has long been ambitious, he has always had time for romance. This AP report says that students are less romantic than previous generations. What's wrong with companies making money from your desire to do something warm and loving for someone you love? So? Dennis is a good centrist. Romance isn't everything and the sole criteria for relationships, but it is not unimportant either. "I was taught by my wife how to take this day more seriously. And we men can teach women stuff." DP: Why haven't you found a wife?" Caller: "I haven't found a woman who will fit her life into mine." DP: "You talk about how men should bend over backwards for their woman, and then you say… You should read my chapter on images…" Next caller (male): "It's a no-brainer what women want… Flowers, candy, and a gift. You just do it." DP says men should open doors for women. "I will act like a man, even if I don't get total reinforcement." What's the matter with having another special day? Lincoln and Washington's birthdays have been lumped into President's Day. Fourth of July, Martin Luther King Day… have become just additional holidays." A male caller said that men feel inadequate expressing their emotions, that they do not do it as well as women. "My wife knows that I feel inadequate in this department, but she appreciates the efforts I make… There is a good book out, 101 Romantic Ways…" The next caller said that he felt manipulated by the holliday. He got his wife for Xmas a pack of Breathasure. DP: When would you get your wife a card, aside from this day? CALLER: Our anniversary. I also feel manipulated by Christmas. ..and Mother's Day. [He doesn't like to buy gifts.] "I agree with you… But I resent these days. It is expected on this day." David Courtnee, KABC traffic reporter, says that he is single and available. Send cards to Dennis, who will screen them. Woman caller: "I hate having to remind my husband that Valentine's Day is coming up. He asks me for a wish list and I hate giving that." DP: Women want men to read their minds. Because you read men's minds better than men reads women's… CALLER: He makes jokes about Valentine's Day… DP: Men and women need to do the right thing, no matter what they feel. I don't feel a big thing about Valentine's Day, but I do it for my wife. DP warns couples against taking each other for granted. "Couples should feel that they have to keep winning the love of the other. When people let themselves go…guys who drink beer and slump before the TV… women who let their bodies go…
2:08PM
Prager introduced a guest: Harvard psychologist Dr. Robert Sternberg, author of Love Is A Story. He says that people who share an ideal for what they want out of a love relationship are best suited. "People have a beginning, middle and end," says the professor. You seek a pattern. Some people seek a business story: They marry for functional reasons, and primarily want material ends. When partners have different images, or different stories, they will have problems. Others will want romance - a prince who sweeps away a princess for a romantic relationship. PROF: "In every story there are two roles: Someone may need to govern, and the other to be governed."
2:40PM
Dennis asked if "like" is as important as "love"? He said that a religious friend of his married a woman after knowing her for several months…and they probably never had sex..or even held hands… He says that his theory is that you get married, and then you fall in love. DP says it is not his approach. He couldn't do it. But he bets that it works as often as the modern way. DP: "Is love deep like?"
Randy: I just figured out that my mother me loved me for twenty years, but she doesn't like me. She's a screaming liberal and I am a conservative. I've come to peace with it. I wanted my mom to be my friend and call me and send me ties… I need that. DP: I love my male friends… Deeply. But there is no sexual component. |
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